I got this idea while trying to fall asleep yesterday (I get the best ideas when I am about to doze off. Maybe that's why It takes me so long to fall asleep? Hm....) to write this post like something that I would write in my diary. Tomorrow on the first of September I am starting a new school year and I thought I'd be fun to share my feelings with you. Just an excuse for me to have a whole post to ramble on to be completely fair with you.
It's the last day of holidays for me. I honestly have no idea where the summer have gone. I mean just a few days ago I was saying good bye to all my classmates (trust me, it was a happy kind of good bye) and thinking how I have more than TWO MONTHS to completely forget about school and only have fun written all over my calendar. But let's be real, I've been dreading September since the middle of July and it have only got worse every day. So now I'm here all prepared with new notebooks and a carefully chosen outfit for tomorrow (I've only spent like two hours thinking about that). I feel really hyped and I have no idea if that's stress or excitement. There, I said it. I think there is a small, very small part of me that is actually looking forward to a new school year. That's been really bothering me, because all my friends and my brother are basically crying over the fact that we're going back to and I really do consider them normal. The thing is that school definitely brings more bad things than good, just thinking about all the stress, people staring at you in the halls, forced socialising because you don't want to be a class freak, zero hours of free time and countless hours of studying makes want to crawl under my sheets and never come out. On the other hand I just can't stop thinking about how much I want to learn new things and give my brain something else beside pondering what to eat for lunch. As a quite organised person I also kind of like the routine that comes with school and all the schedules I make up in my mind (though my other family members probably don't agree with me). No more hours passing without me doing anything worth mentioning if I want to pass the year, but also no more hours of watching my favourite you tubers or searching for new music artists. Do you see what I mean? All my excitement will probably disappear tomorrow morning at 6am when I'll have to wake up for school, but I'll try to stay positive about the whole thing. I mean in the end you're the only who can decide whether you're happy or unhappy in life and I'm really trying to have a better approach to all the obstacles that get in my way. We'll see if I'll be so upbeat tomorrow when I come home. Till then adios amigos!
I survived. But it was hard, very hard. It's just the first day of school and I already want to stay in my bed for the rest of the school year. To think I was excited! Ha, definitely not anymore. Even the most positive people would lose their motivation after two hours of listening to our Maths teacher telling us how sophomore year is the hardest of all years, because we'll be learning completely new things. He also said that that's the year when hormones strike. Well thank you, that's really a great way to make students feel confident about the new school year. But it wasn't just our Maths teacher, it was getting worse with every teacher. They just kept on telling us how we'll have the hardest subject matter this year. Chemistry, Physique, Maths...my favourite subjects (note the sarcasm). I was surprised that we didn't get loads of homework on the first day already, because it seems like we'll have an additional month of school if they want us to learn that much. You may think that I was happy to see my fellow classmates? Um, to be honest I've been hanging out with the ones I actually get along with in the summer as well and I really didn't miss the others that much. Not to mention all the other students in our school. If you don't know yet, I really really don't like crowded places which is basically a definition for a high school. Everyone is taller or at least looking older, so I feel like a twelve years old kid among all this confident cool teenagers. I mean walking in the school halls you see so many different fashion styles and everyone looks fabulous. And than there's me, in plain jeans and a sweater, carrying an embarrassingly big school bag, feeling like a mule. I really want to try some new styles, but firstly I am not confident enough and secondly I would have to throw away most of my clothes. Yeah, my taste in clothes changes a lot, you can read all about my not so fabulous style struggle here. I'm going shopping tomorrow and I might buy something different. I hope I don't change my mind till then...that would be totally me. So this have changed into a complete diary post very quickly...I have to stop before I start telling you about what I ate today heh. The point is that I'm the opposite of happy to be back in school right now and I don't think I'll change my mind anytime soon.
So I wrote this a few days ago. Since then a lot have happened and I definitely still have a lot to say about school ands school related matters, but I'll leave that for another blog post, of course if you'd even like to read more about school? I totally understand if you're sick of it already. I really do hope however that your first day wasn't as bad and that you're excited for the new school year. Good luck and talk to you soon!
xoxo
